But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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