respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
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