I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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