It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
