wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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