Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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