she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
