So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
