I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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