separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
