question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Best friends brother. Beat that.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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