I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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