At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
