well you can't waste a boner
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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