that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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