Already got asked if we're dating
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
