what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
