She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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