My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
