:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
