I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
