I wish I could teleport
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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