I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
