drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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