real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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