Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
