I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize