Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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