I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
a search helicopter?!
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
