I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
