Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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