my room smells like sperm. sweet.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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