he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Just puked most of my soul out..
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
