Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
