it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
