I wish you could order shots online.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
