is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
