ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
