I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
