accomplished twins. life is a go
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Randomize
