Got a toothbrush?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I stole a fireplace last night.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
