People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
