My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize