Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
