benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
