You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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