I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
