after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
