I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
