after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
