margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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