PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
