Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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