soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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