Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
babies were throwing up all over the place
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
