Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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