My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize