Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
