You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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