Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
