we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize