I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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