I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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