There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
