That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
