He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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