i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
