4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
