Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize