so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
