i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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